SUCCESS AND CONFIDENCE

Have you tried to create a dream life only to find yourself sabotaging your every step or being slowed down by gut-wrenching self doubt?

Maybe you are at a point of giving up?

You may feel defeated, unfulfilled but also… furious. You try to stay positive, do things to make things happen, but you end up hitting the same old limits.

If you are here on this page, you must appreciate the importance of the positive mindset. You may also appreciate the importance of positive emotional standpoint, a loving and solid relationship with yourself and a focused, deliberate mind.

And yet, these states are not easy to achieve alone. In fact, we can become overly analytical and anxious when we try to change things by analysing them too much. It is much easier to know what we should be thinking or what we would like to be feeling, than to have such mastery over the thoughts and emotions. And it can get frustrating to watch yourself sabotage your success with self-doubt and fears.

There is a lot of information out there about what we should want and how we should be; loving ourselves more, listening to others less, paying no attention to criticism and putting ourselves first. We know how we should think, that we should be confident and positive, that we should be more motivated, organized and less perfectionistic. But knowing doesn’t make the change happen. It only makes our shortcoming more obvious.

Working with someone who has tools and skills to help you will bring your intentions and actions in alignment so much quicker. I have worked with clients who, with only a few sessions, gained confidence, direction in life and clarity beyond anything they experienced before. In a short time, the doubt or judgment that was stopping them from reaching for their dreams disappeared, giving way to greater sense of excitement about the future and positive expectation.

For many, the increased sense of happiness and confidence was just a beginning. Such internal change creates ripple effects on every area of life, professional and personal. Many of my clients reported amazing opportunities coming their way, new relationships, finding a soul mate or a perfect job opportunity, improving relationships with people, not to mention little ‘miracles’ that happen, like an unlikable boss moving interstate or a struggling friendship improving greatly.

If you never worked with anyone that could help you transform your life, you may fear that change is hard. It isn’t. It feels that way when you try to ‘willpower’ your life into being different. But when you work with deep-seated beliefs and self-doubt, you simply witness your life transform like magic.

Case study 1:

Joanna came to see me a couple of years ago. At 38 she believed her life was heading for a disaster. Unhappy in her job, single but still hoping for a child one day, angry for even having such thoughts.

When I met her she was feeling a heavy weight of her own judgement. She felt like a failure. And she was painfully aware of her biological clock.

She was never lucky in love. A beautiful, attractive woman with, as she described it, ‘lots of loving to give’, she was slowly losing her hope to have the life she so desperately wanted.

When we finished working together, she felt like a new person. She felt confident and happier, but still unsure what life has in store for her.

I haven’t heard from her for a while and then suddenly, 3 months later she send me a text.She met someone. She was in love. Most importantly, she told me, he adored her. We scheduled lunch and i could hardly believe my eyes, she was beaming and glowing. They talked marriage and children already. he wanted a big wedding, to say the world how much he adores her.

Joanna, as always deeply self reflective told me how surprised she was with her own reactions. ‘I am not trying to change him, i am not even trying to solve his problems. I am just happy to be loved for a change’.

A few months later she got married.

He gave her what she wanted. He gave her stability and complete adoration, and eventually they had a baby! A story like millions of others, except we both knew that it would have never happened if it wasn’t for the conscious and deliberate changes she underwent.

Her new life and her earlier transformation happened because she took a chance to change internally. Instead of finding excuses like karma, childhood trauma, crappy destiny or just bad luck, she decided to work through her beliefs and programming that held her back and see what happens. And it paid off big time for Joanna.

She didn’t believe that things can be so easy. Not until she experienced the change. Not until she worked through some stuff. And I can’t even imagine what she would have missed out on if she didn’t come to work with me.

There are many spectacular, mind blowing, new things waiting for each one of us. They are waiting for us to open up to them. All we need to do is stop doing these things that hold us back. Like self-doubt. Or fear. Or self-judgment. And the belief that it is hard or impossible.

Case study 2

Paul. Paul had a number of businesses he bought or started early in life; a couple of fast food restaurants, a wine bar and a couple of take away places. He used to find business easy and, by his own description, he used to be almost arrogant about it. He was married with children, lived in a beautiful house and felt invincible. But that was before she started feeling anxious and ‘stuck’.

He told me that he stopped enjoying life and everything feels distant and somewhat hard. His self-doubt started affecting his businesses, he was fearful about making decisions, something that he never experienced before. His finances were struggling too and he was talking about selling the house. All this put enormous strain on his marriage and yet, he had no idea what happened or how to resolve it.

We traced it back to something that happen a few years earlier. He made a series of bad decisions that, in his view, were ‘appallingly stupid’. This negative judgment was not just about the decisions, he judged himself. He judged his ability to make decisions and to run businesses, and the gut wrenching doubt was now ruining his life.

Paul was surprised to her this, as he believed it was all in the past and that he moved on from these bad decisions. Little he knew how much what happened shattered his confidence and made him feel paralysed to do what he sued to do with such ease.

He couldn’t trust himself any more. He felt overwhelmed with fear every time he had to make decisions, unable to decide even on simple things.

After doing my program, Paul’s attitudes and gut responses changed dramatically. He quickly started feeling more at peace and learned to trust himself again. In fact, he believed now that the experience was a blessing, as it taught him to be more balanced in his decisions and more conscious of the impulses that are motivating him. At the end, he felt stronger than ever and excited about the future,

A few months after we finished, he message me with some good news. His businesses were doing better, and he was buying another property to start an up-market restaurant. He was even negotiating a partnership with a well reputed chef. He told me that before his breakdown, he would have never done this, because, back then his focus was more on income and less on personal satisfaction. And his new project was something that he always wanted and the opportunities were presenting themselves in the most synchronous ways.

ARE YOU LIVING YOUR DREAM_

“I was stuck in a time warp of attempting to achieve personal goals and continually hitting the wall. I was referred to see Dorota as a possible alternative to the many other options which I had previously tried eg hypnosis. Dorota’s strong academic background gave me confidence in being open to this style of psychological approach, an approach quite foreign to me. (I am a cynic by nature and need something more than brochures to convince me to try something.) I was pleasantly surprised at how few sessions it took Dorota to work through the mental barriers and habits I had developed for myself over time. I found five sessions were sufficient for me to see a change in my personal thinking patterns – but you do have to do your homework. It is not difficult but does require effort and focus. I now spend more time working towards them rather than beating myself up along the way – a much better and kinder place to be in. I continue to use the positive thinking techniques Dorota developed for me. Dorota is delightfully personable, highly skilled individual. I am glad I know her. She made a big difference.*”  Gail 

disclaimer: *while these endorsements represent actual as well as typical experiences, the results may vary from person to person