Do you feel that you can’t cope with stress and pressures? Do you find yourself angry for no reason crying for no reason or eating and drinking your way into some temporary ease? Do you feel like a walking bomb, just about to explode or self-combust and no matter what you do, meditate or exercise, nothing changes? Do you find yourself self-sabotaging your efforts to stay healthy and happy?
There is a simple reason why it may be happening; stress. But not necessarily the type of stress we all experience, but rather a more complex type of stress that is rarely talked about.
To keep things simple, let’s assume that there are two types of stress.
A job can be stressful and one can feel overwhelmed with all that needs to be done. Making hundreds of decisions during the day, working under pressure of deadlines, taking care of others, managing finances, taking care of the family can be stressful. But as long as one trusts that doing these things is possible, that they are equipped with skills and ability to finish the tasks, the stress eventually eases off and gives way to satisfaction.
Things are very different when stress, even of a mild nature, is about something chronically unresolved. Imagine that there is something you need or want to change, something you wish would be different, and yet no matter what you do, you can’t change or even influence things. There is no action you can take, or even if you do take action, it seems to be in vain.
Most of my professional time is spend working with clients whose compulsive behaviours (around food, but also alcohol, shopping, watching YouTube, pornography or notoriously procrastinating with things) are driving them crazy. They want to stop doing these ‘bad’ things and start doing something that is healthier and more supportive of their wellbeing. They want to eat less, drink less, shop less or watch less videos, but they can’t. They don’t seem to be able to change their behaviours no matter what they try. I don’t have to tell you how disempowering it can be. The unstoppable urge to do things against oneself creates a sense of helplessness that adds to stress.
The stress that comes from one’s inability to change such behaviours, the stress of not trusting oneself, hitting the head against the wall over and over again – is much worse than the stress of challenging job of juggling too many things. It comes with an extra dollop of pain and frustration. And even if it seems milder, it is particularly detrimental to human health. Mental health included! because it is unresolved, chronic and all present.
At the base of every anxiety, depression, addiction and compulsion is this very stress; a chronic sense that something important needs to be resolved and yet one feels powerless or incapable to resolve it. The sense of helplessness that develops over time is soul crushing. However, we humans don’t usually want to put up with such aggravated sense of helplessness, we want to do something about it. The impetus and desire to act becomes stronger and stronger, creating an inner pressure that cannot be easily released. There seem to be nowhere for this energy to go. After a while, a person begins to feel like a walking bomb, always stimulated for action, but the action that could bring true relief is not there. And while, sadly, many of us get accustomed to this feeling and take it to be a part of our make up, the anxious mind chatter, the sleepless night and doing things against oneself are a sign that the mind is not coping.
Do you feel like you need to change something but can’t? Do you feel anxious and scared a lot? Do you wake up at night and can’t stop obsessing about something? Going round and round in circles? Trying desperately to find a solution? To find some relief? Do you try crush diets or ‘crush’ solutions for anything? Do you feel impatient and stuck at the same time?
As we enter the year 2020, these anxious, helpless, uncertain feelings become even more exaggerated. We can’t help but worry. If you were previously stressed by a chronic type of unresolved stress, you may now feel that the wheels of your mental balance are falling off quicker than you can say ‘help!’.
The world is changing for sure. It is possible that many people will crash and burn, not because of the circumstances, but because the stress becomes so high they can’t cope anymore. Antidepressants and sleeping pills can only carry one that far, eventually, the magnificent brain will compensate and call for a change in the way they think and feel. Will they hear the call of the mind? Or will they take more pills? I can’t speak for everyone, but I encourage you not to be the one that crashes in 2020. I encourage you to prepare yourself, by building a strong muscle of unwavering inner peace.
Don’t give in to stress. There are ways to resolve it. In the nutshell, this is what I have been done with hundreds and hundreds of clients for the last decade. I am certain that my clients will survive whatever the world throws at them this year, they will thrive better than most. Simply because the way they think and feel works for themand not, as it used to be, against them.
If you know that stress is eating you alive, if you find yourself anxious, depressed, unable to function the way you want to function, please book a session and see what we can do together. If you find yourself engaging with self-defeating behaviours, take it as a sign that you need to change things. And you will. I promise, you won’t be disappointed.
Thank you for giving me my life back. I used to think I can’t relax and enjoy my days and now I am relaxed and enjoying my life. It was like a little vicious cycle that I was going through. Now looking back I can see how self sabotaging it was.
Mind Detox has not only helped me find a greater sense of inner peace than I had imagined but it has given me great insight into my parenting. I am more than happy to recommend Dorota and her work. She fills the sessions with genuine empathy and a warm sense of humour. No expectations that you need to keep coming back, no up-selling to other products. Just an honest effort to help. P.S. My kids say thanks too!
I was stuck in a time warp of attempting to achieve personal goals and continually hitting the wall. I was referred to see Dorota as a possible alternative to the many other options which I had previously tried eg hypnosis. Dorota’s strong academic background gave me confidence in being open to this style of psychological approach, an approach quite foreign to me. (I am a cynic by nature and need something more than brochures to convince me to try something.) I was pleasantly surprised at how few sessions it took Dorota to work through the mental barriers and habits I had developed for myself over time. I found five sessions were sufficient for me to see a change in my personal thinking patterns. I now spend more time working towards my goals rather than beating myself up along the way – a much better and kinder place to be in. I continue to use the positive thinking techniques Dorota developed for me. Dorota is delightfully personable, highly skilled individual. I am glad I know her. She made a difference.
I wanted to say a very heartfelt thank you for the time, knowledge and kindness you invested in me over the last few weeks. You have truly helped me to open the doors to my heart and soul and now I stand high in my freedom and light.
Hi Dorota, thanks to your work wedding was a big success. I am feeling much better now and confidence if growing daily. Words can’t express the gratitude I have for you and your work, so many thanks!
Hi Dorota, last session was so profound for me! I feel so different, huge shift in perceiving has happened within. I can’t find good enough words to thank you for your amazing work.