Are you seeing a psychologist or a psychiatrist hoping they would fix your binge eating or bulimia? Are you frustrated with no results?
You may need to read this.
Sometimes we go to see a counsellor or a psychologist to just talk about things, to hear another perspective or to get some advice. This is great and can be helpful to many of us.
But it is not that helpful to women who self-sabotage with food. Just ‘taking about things’ is not that helpful to those who were pulled into the vacuum of obsessing about the food and the body and battling these things every day.
And while many consider the ‘eating disorders’ to be hard to fix, I believe the reason for it is NOT in the nature of the problem. Rather, I believe most psychologists and counsellors are not equipped to work with binge eating or bulimia and so they proclaim it hard to fix. They just don’t have the necessary tools to deal with it.
And i know for sure that binge eating and bulimia are not hard to fix. They are completely ‘fixable’ if you know how to do it. I have seen it done so many times, that my heart cries for these who suffer unnecessarily. This is one of the reasons why I have decided to give free public talks on the topic. Because I believe that as professionals we are misguided too often.
In Melbourne alone, hundreds, if not thousands of women battle with food and with their bodies to the point of exhaustion. Many do it daily.
And what I found is that they KNOW a lot about diets, exercise, and even the workings of the body. They know a lot about what they should be doing and should be eating and that they should be more mindful and more relaxed and love themselves more.
They know they should be less concerned with the body or how they look and they want to care less about what other people think. They know they should eat only when hungry and not punish their bodies or themselves. They know they should meditate and be more positive.
They know it all.
But they still can’t do it.
They want to eat healthy and to love their bodies. They just can’t do it. No matter how hard they try. And trust me, they do try hard! Harder than most.
They do loads of internet research, read furiously and try to find a solution somewhere. Maybe it is an allergy, or some hormonal imbalance, or some lack of something or rather. Maybe there is something wrong with the body. Maybe it is some childhood trauma they don’t even remember.
Will talking about it with someone help them? To some extend. Knowing they are not shamed or ‘crazy’, having a kind ear that listens without judgement.
But is talking to a kind and caring listener going to fix the problem for good?
When you know what you want and you behave in a self-sabotaging ways, you feel trapped. When you want to be healthy and eat healthy and yet your behaviours and actions contradict what you want, you are in a bind. And you turn against yourself.
You conscious and subconscious are pulling in a different directions. And when you turn against yourself, the gap becomes a chasm. And you are in a state of battle all the time.
So what can you do?
The solution is simple, really. If you know what to do. Bringing the conscious and the subconscious together.
And getting the subconscious ‘programming’ in line with your intentions and your goals. Understanding why it played the tricks on you and what is was trying to achieve. Recognising your deepest intentions and aligning with them.
The true solution goes much deeper than just talking about things. It requires skills to ‘re-program’ and align the subconscious, it requires tools to get into the deeper workings of the mind. So you can create lasting changes there.
This is why transformational coaching could be your best friend. And this is why many psychologists and therapist reach include transformational tools (like NLP, or hypnosis, energy psychology etc) into their repertoire. Because they do want to help you.
I watch women, my clients, as they change from week to week. They don’t try harder to do what they want to do, they don’t force themselves or use willpower to stop eating or stop obsessing about the food.
As they change all the layers of thinking, the change in behaviours become easy. They feel motivated and happy to eat less, to eat differently. They feel strength and power developing inside them like anything they experienced before.
And this power does not come from battling the subconscious, but from working with it. It comes from bringing the subconscious on your side, and bringing your whole self on your side too.
And as the battles end, they feel energized and lighter. No energy wasted, no energy turned against yourself.
And you know what happens when you feel lighter and less weight down by the worry and self-reproach? Your body starts looking lighter too. You look taller, lighter, slimmer, healthier, glowing and happy. And if the weight needs to go, it will soon go too.
When you get your mind aligned. And when you continue to keep it that way.