Finding your way out of depression, part 1

Finding your way out of depression, part 1

Part 1

I am not sure if you have ever worked with your limiting beliefs, the thoughts-stories that we believe in without even knowing that we do. And we usually don’t even know how much they stop us until we consciously transform them. It often feels like we take the foot off the break and are able to breathe and move forwards.

In moments of most discomfort, times when we feel really intense emotion, these beliefs are usually ripe and ready to be released. Or rather, we are ready to step up, expand into being more authentic and more who we want to be. And while instinctively we want to fight and push against the intense discomfort, the only way to move forward is to accept the calling. Something needs to change – internally – we are called to examine and let go of what holds us back. So we are free to step up to more freedom, more well being, more self-love.I am always happy to see clients who are at the most uncomfortable moment, not because i enjoy their discomfort, but because I know where they are going. I know that they are opening an inner portal to move towards things and ways of being they have been wanting for a while. The intense discomfort means they are ready.

So then we unpack what holds them back, bit by bit. what decisions they made, unconsciously, about themselves. How deserving they are, how lucky they may be, what happiness means and where punishment comes from. As humans we are incredibly creative in setting out our own limitations.

There is an endless number of possibilities – no end to human creative nature – in ways we limit ourselves and hold back from what we want. Endless ways we prove to ourselves that we are powerless and helpless. That we are weak and useless. And while discussing all the possibilities here is neither possible nor beneficial, I would like to focus on 4 beliefs that are worth examining if you feel stuck in depression or anxiety or any form of addictive behaviours.

The negative beliefs can make us sick and they can make us feel powerless, but even in the moments when we feel  determined to move forward and to get better, there may still be some beliefs that would make the transition less likely or that would slow us down.

So what is it that we need to believe to transition towards full recovery from any emotion driven condition?

A successful journey into recovery means that you need to believe you are worthy of feeling good and that it is possible, practical and achievable. For you. That there are ways to change your mind’s map, your inner dialogues and your mental habits enough for you to feel different, think different and conduct yourself differently. Lets consider these four beliefs that we need to have in place – and lets see them as steps, stepping stones, towards your complete recovery.

STEP ONE — Making ‘how you feel’ important enough.

Question to ask: Do I believe that your emotional health is important and worthy of your attention?

Giving the importance and priority to your well being forms a solid foundation for creating personal well being. We live in a society where physical illness and physical symptoms, whether it is a migraine or cancer, give us an unquestionable ‘right’ to take time off and ‘selfishly’ attend to what our body needs. But things are not that unquestionable with mental conditions. And while mental health campaigners educate public on ‘real’ nature of mental pain, the old, stigmatizing and dismissive attitudes are still present all around.

But the question here is not about what society thinks, but what you think. Do you believe mental and emotional health is a worthy cause to fight for, or do you think you should be stronger and just get over it? Do you believe that spending resources and time on ‘feeling better’ is a good thing to do, or that it is just a pure indulgence?

Because if you believe that being depressed means you are weak and you should just man-up and be stronger, it is unlikely you will take time or assign any resources to your emotional health or that you would even take it seriously. Or, you may feel too ashamed of your own ‘weak and wicket’ mind to do anything about.

The first step to recovery is to examine these beliefs. Do you think you are worthy of a great life? Do you think how you feel is important? Is it important enough for you to give it some priority in your life? Do you feel ashamed or victimized?

And yet, emotional stability is essential to your life. Felling anxious or depressed is never a sign of weakness but a sign of sensitivity. And while right now being sensitive may feel like a curse, it is possible to use this quality differently; as a strength rather than weakness. Find ways to make your personal well being a little bit more important every day, give priority to activities that feel more uplifting and give yourself permission – that’s right, you are the only one who can do this – to make your ‘feeling better’ your priority. And then take the next step.

 

Dorota

 

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