Let me start this blog with a little bit of an explanation. Who am I and why am I writing this. After all, does the world really need yet another blog?
In the past, I attempted blogging a few times. None of them very successful. The words were not flowing the way I wished them to flow and there was only one thing to blame. My own lack of mental clarity. I wanted to blog but I was not completely ready to share what I was doing as a therapist.
Maybe a part of me wanted to keep it a secret, or maybe i was too afraid to be ridiculed. But i think the main reason was that I didn’t really understand clearly – and couldn’t explain – what it was that I was actually doing! At the time, i was already very successful in my practice; I was able to help many to recover from conditions that psychology still proclaims ‘challenging’, like bulimia or some addictions. But i couldn’t really explicate, in any intelligent way, what was the reason for this success.
What was going on in my clinic room was more akin to art than science. My office was the only place where I would fully allow my intuitive impulses to hold the reins. It was a risk i was taking but it felt great and was bringing results. My logical part was, at the time, so disheartened about what mainstream psychology had to offer, that it didn’t even kick the fuss too much.
But every time i tried to write about it, it would sound like a book of cliches. It wasn’t easy to explain and it was frustrating. Luckily, last year after we moved to Melbourne, i found some free time, and some motivation to really think and write about my work. A couple of clients agreed to have all the sessions recorded so i could transcribe them and look at them with a more analytical eye (after all my background is in social research).
Eventually ideas and things started to shape. I looked into small pool of research on emotions and discovered things that aligned and explained what I did right. My work slowly started to make sense on intellectual level. and by the time i finished my first draft, I was transformed. No longer i was confuses about why my work is so effective.
At that point I recognised the powerful logic in emotions why they need to be the focus of therapy. But not in the traditional way, talking about how we felt, how we feel, chewing on negative details from the past or searching for things that ‘broke’ us. But rather looking at emotions as logical sign posts, telling us what we are doing right now and what needs to be changed.
I also recognised that what I had been doing all along is giving people an opportunity to take their power back. To position their own self in their ow life in a way that makes them central that helps them to take change and learn mastery over their own lives.No more powerlessness that drives anxiety, binge eating or many other conditions.
We all know we should be more powerful and more self-loving. Saying this to anyone will change nothing. If anything it may ad another layer of ‘should’ to their internal dialogues. Being able to practically show people HOW to get there was my strength. And now I was slowly discovering ways of talking about it, explaining it and understanding it myself.
I am sorry if ti all feels a bit vague at the moment. There is a great simplicity in it, I promise. But it may seem a bit complex, or foreign, before it becomes clear. But it will, if you stay tunes.
Today, I am grateful for the time when i gave in to my own intuitive processes, without stopping it with too much analysis. I took risks with ‘alternative’ methods like hypnosis or NLP or occasional ‘strange’ mental and emotional techniques that use to go against my highly analytical mind. But i can see that I created something of value because of that ‘leap of faith’.
Something of value to me (I love being with clients and working) and certainly something of value to others. A very satisfying experience indeed, freeing women and occasionally men from the past emotional ‘junk’ that used to tug on them day and night.
My book is still in making, it needs a bit of work and it may take another years or so to finish. But for everyone out there that is struggling with any emotional stuff, or conditions like overeating, addictive, compulsive behaviours or anxiety, I am starting this blog so I can share what I know today, on my own (not publisher’s) terms.
And one last point. Dismissing emotions didn’t really work all that well for our society. And maybe the epidemic of anxiety and addiction is a nudge from the universe telling us that rationalising everything and over-thinking everything at the expense of emotional and mental clarity, is not the way to go.