This is the exercise I promised in my previous post here.
Before I start a word of waning: it may seem strange to you because I am going to ask you to do something that feels counter intuitive at first. But after a short while you will discover how truly powerful this exercise is. After all, you have been doing what seemed right for a while now: looking for answers in diets and food sensitivities, stressing, beating up on yourself, and nothing changed. This exercise is like nothing else you tried and it will create magical changes in your days and in your life and – if yous stick to it for a while – it has a potential of changing your life completely.
And of course, it will stop you from using food as a way to soothe all the emotional discomfort!
As I said, at first this exercise may seem strange in the face of all the problems that you have to deal with. Here i am asking you, for a few moments, to stop thinking about the problems and just take care of how you feel. Odd, isn’t it? But if you binged or ate emotionally for a while, you are probably becoming aware that how you feel matters! Plus, you may also be aware of a simple fact – that nothing would ever change is you keep doing the same thing over and over again.
Have you ever experienced any ‘Eureka’ moments after thinking about something intensely? Those moments only come when you relax or maybe wake up in a great mood and the solutions just simply pops into your head out of nowhere? It usually happens accidentally, we stumble into relaxed moments and into solutions that way. But it doesn’t have to be so random, you can make it happen more often and more consistently.
Many great people noticed the importance of relaxation and removing yourself from the problem altogether for the answers and solutions to come. They tell us that is it not possible to remain in a questioning ‘mode’ and be in a ‘solution-answer’ mode at the same time. That something is the consciousness has to shift, a perspective, a vantage point, for the solution to become available. Otherwise we just blindly bang our heads against a wall of despair, and cause nothing but pain.
If you have been overeating for months or years, you are likely to be banging your head against a wall every day trying to change things. And it only gives you more pain. But now i will give you a recipe to really change things. Yes, it may feel difficult at the start, because you are not focusing on the problem, as you have for a long time, but rather on feeling better.But once you start doing this exercise, you will recognize the power of it really quickly. Try it for a week and see the change in you.
What to do:
Carve some time early in the morning, the best time is when you first wake up, even before you get out of bed. Before you have a chance to think of your ‘problem’. Before you have a chance to start doing the things you usually do in the morning, like beating yourself up for feeling sluggish because you ate too much the night before.
So find some time in the morning, first thing when you wake up. Have some paper and pen ready and write a question on the top of the page. How do I want to be and feel today? And then think about it for a few seconds. How do I want to be and feel, feel and be? What is my choice for today? What do I choose for myself?
When the answer comes, write it down. And then notice if it affects you in anyway. Is it a relaxing thought or is it a tensing thought? Does it make you feel warm, peaceful or tense, edgy?
If it makes you feel warm and relaxed, continue to think about it. Ask the question and write the answers a few times, just allow this feeling of relaxation. Without overthinking, without trying to make anything happen, just let this feeling wash over you and then write down more words that describe what you are feeling. For example, you can write: warm, at ease, relaxed, open, peaceful, gentle, very relaxed, open, relaxed, at peace. Repetition is the key here – you are not writing a novel, but simply doing an exercise to change how you start your day. Repeat the same words as many times as you want. Do not try to make things happen, just focus on the feelings. Do it for a few minutes and then stop, put the paper and pen down and start your day. Notice if there is anything different about your day. If you have more positive experiences, congratulate yourself. If some critical thoughts come, do not fight them, do not engage with them either. Go back to the feeling of ease and relaxation throughout the day and remember how it feels. Do not try to find any other solutions for a few days, just trust (as much as you can) that doing this exercise is enough for now.
If doing the writing makes you feel tense, stop and look at what you have written. You probably started writing something like: ‘I want to be slim and not eat too much, I want to control my food, I want my body to look different’. Or maybe something else that reminds you of your struggle. Your thoughts are ‘too close to the bone’ and remind you of what you feel bad about. That’s why you feel the tension. Start again with a more broad, general points. I want to feel in control. I want to feel good about myself. I want to feel good. I want to feel more relaxed. I want to feel and be more relaxed. I want to be more at peace with everything. I want things not to worry me so much. I want to find some peace within me. I want to be happier and freer and more relaxed. I would like to experience more peace inside of me. I want to give up on battles, I want to feel good about who I am. I want to notice good things about myself and my life.
Watch for the sensations in your body. Every time you get tense, remove yourself into a broader, more general territory. When you say or write words describing states of being, like peaceful, relaxed, at ease, comfortable, calm, easy, gentle, kind, caring, accepting, at peace, relaxing and just being, or whatever comes to your mind, there is very little arguments and tension that comes up in the body. Usually there is none. But as soon as you start thinking more specifically, like ‘I want to be slim’ I want to have a body that people love’, or ‘I want others to accept me’ the tension starts building up straight away. And so you know exactly what to do. Listen to this tension and recognize its guidance.
Your goal with this simple exercise is to change your state of being, change your consciousness from ‘problem oriented’ to ‘solution oriented’. And once you do, the miracles will start happening very quickly.