X

Psychology

Easiest way to re-program your mind

Easiest way to re-program your mind

Deepak Chopra once said that if we just ask a question, the universe has to answer. I must add that from the psychological and even physiological point of view, this makes total sense. And I don’t even mean that some mysterious universal forces will be raining answers onto us, but rather that – in a more mundane way – asking questions puts your brain to work.

As you ask a question, the brain will respond with tuning into things that you asked for or about. But there is more that happens. Your brain will take what is ‘assumed’ in the question to be true and guide you accordingly. A question would make your mind and your emotions respond in a different way, depending on the ‘flavour’ of the question. And the brain will produce different chemicals based on that ‘flavour’.

Let me explain. When you ask certain types of questions, like the ‘why’ questions, there is a part of each of these questions that is ‘assumed to be true’. When you ask ‘what is wrong with me’, you aren’t really asking of things are actually wrong with you or not. You give yourself no chance, because you assume they are. And you are just asking ‘what specifically’. So the brain will help you to find what is wrong over and over again. It will make you notice your faults more.

And if that’s true, what happens when you ask: What can be the worst thing that happens? Or What else can go wrong?

Often, the questions we ask are full of judgment and criticism: Why do I always have to end up with a wrong guy? Why do I always end up in debt? Why can’t I find a soul mate? And the one that tops it all: Why am I so cursed?

And if what Deepak says is true, and the whole universe conspire to show you want is wrong with you, why you are cursed or what can go wrong. No wonder that these question leave you feeling so deeply disempowered – you want things to improve and all you are getting is more of the same or worse.

We often ask the negative questions without even being aware of it. But it doesn’t mean that – with a little bit of effort – we cannot become fully aware and change the programing quite rapidly. If positive change is what you want, maybe it is time to start asking different questions.

You can do this by consciously and deliberately asking some simple questions; how do I want to feel? How does it feel to be at peace? How does it feel to be good to myself? And rather than answering them, just let them hung there, in a question form. And move to the next one. What do I like? What would be the nicest thing I could do today?

If you feel really bold, you can then ask: What is the best thing that can happen today? What could be fun? What can be the most magical thing? Again, don’t try to think of the answers, and if you feel that the answers coming to you are somewhat negative (like, yeah, right, nothing magical comes to me ever!), just move to questions that don’t awaken these negative reactions.

You could ask questions that are about more general things, like your home, family, your life and your friends. Ask about things that are easy to feel good about: What do I like about my home? What do I like about my life? What do I like about my best friend? My children? How does it feel to be at peace? How doe it feel to have a good day? How would it feel to know I will have a good day?

And if you don’t feel good about things, or you had been feeling really down lately, ask questions that are least specific; How doe it feel to be at peace? What would my day feel like if I was okay today? How would it feel to simply be okay and at ease? How would it feel not to try to change things but just relax? How does it feel to relax? How does it feel to be at ease?

I encourage you to do this one thing today, start asking positive questions. Don’t try to find the answers, just throw some good vibe questions out there in the air and watch what happens. And watch where your brain (or the universe) can take you as soon as today. It may knock your socks off in the most amazing ways.

CONTINUE READING
Embrace your anger, it’s good for you

Embrace your anger, it’s good for you

If you are like me, you probably don’t like feeling jealous, envious, angry, frustrated, bitter or resentful. Not only these emotions feel bad, but there is also a lot of stigma attached to them. Unlike feelings of guilt, sadness or fear, anger and jealousy get a lot of bad press in our society. We are told it is wrong to feel angry. And many people train themselves to never show these kind of emotions, ever. (more…)

CONTINUE READING
You can’t control your reactions? Here is why. Part 2

You can’t control your reactions? Here is why. Part 2

I hope you understand more about the importance of moods and emotions in the way you react to things. In fact they are important in all decision making processes. They influence how you see interactions, situations and events in your life and how you see others. And it influences how you react to what people say to you.

And of course you know that. You know that when you are in a bad mood, or disappointed with yourself in some ways, no matter how nice people are (and no matter how hard your partner tries to make you feel loved), you just don’t feel it anyway. It feels that they must be lying or trying too hard, and even if they are completely genuine in their affection, you just don’t trust it. (more…)

CONTINUE READING
You can’t control your reactions? Here is why. Part 1

You can’t control your reactions? Here is why. Part 1

Have you ever tried to understand – or to change – your emotional responses to situations or to behaviours of others, only to feel more confused than ever. Have you tried to feel better about your body, your weight, your friends, your family, your work and yet couldn’t change any of that? Have you tried to be more positive only to end up feeling even more frustrated with yourself? (more…)

CONTINUE READING
Self-doubt? Feeling stuck? Make your dreams come true

Self-doubt? Feeling stuck? Make your dreams come true

Do you feel stalled in life? Completely stuck? Doubting yourself and your whole existence? Are you unable to move into any direction at all, waiting for something to happen so you can escape this feeling of dread? Feeling disappointed that nothing changes? Ever!

Are you worrying that unless things change soon you would explode, or you’d sink in despair and never recover? Have you tried to make something happen only to discover that whatever you try to change or influence turns into more of the same? More of the same utter stuck-ness! (more…)

CONTINUE READING
What kind of OVEREATER are you?

What kind of OVEREATER are you?

Can you see yourself in any of these statements below?

Every time I get stressed I tend to eat chocolate, too much chocolate. I don’t seem to have much control over it, and often can’t stop until the whole block is gone. (You could replace ‘chocolate’ with any other food, if you like).

I overeat at night.I keep snacking after dinner, even though I am completely full, I keep going to the fridge or pantry and eating, eating, eating. It takes a lot of will power to stop, and often I cant stop until I go to bed, or until i feel sick. (more…)

CONTINUE READING
Letting go of anxiety and self-doubt

Letting go of anxiety and self-doubt

Sometimes things get hard. And in the moments when they get hard what do we do? We doubt. We question every single choice we’ve ever made. We question and doubt and question and doubt until it feels sore deep inside. And then the hurt makes us doubt even more. A vicious cycle that eats away all hope and happiness.

I could talk about it for a long time. But I won’t. (more…)

CONTINUE READING
The most important choice you’d ever have to make

The most important choice you’d ever have to make

The past doesn’t exist. It’s gone. Done. Expired.

The future doesn’t exist.

You don’t exist in the past. Or the future.

You only exist in this moment. And this moment. And now this moment. And now this moment. And now this moment…

You only exist in a single moment. That’s it. Here and now. Moving from a moment to a moment, from a now to a now. And now. And now. Another now… (more…)

CONTINUE READING