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Mind Detox

Easiest way to re-program your mind

Easiest way to re-program your mind

Deepak Chopra once said that if we just ask a question, the universe has to answer. I must add that from the psychological and even physiological point of view, this makes total sense. And I don’t even mean that some mysterious universal forces will be raining answers onto us, but rather that – in a more mundane way – asking questions puts your brain to work.

As you ask a question, the brain will respond with tuning into things that you asked for or about. But there is more that happens. Your brain will take what is ‘assumed’ in the question to be true and guide you accordingly. A question would make your mind and your emotions respond in a different way, depending on the ‘flavour’ of the question. And the brain will produce different chemicals based on that ‘flavour’.

Let me explain. When you ask certain types of questions, like the ‘why’ questions, there is a part of each of these questions that is ‘assumed to be true’. When you ask ‘what is wrong with me’, you aren’t really asking of things are actually wrong with you or not. You give yourself no chance, because you assume they are. And you are just asking ‘what specifically’. So the brain will help you to find what is wrong over and over again. It will make you notice your faults more.

And if that’s true, what happens when you ask: What can be the worst thing that happens? Or What else can go wrong?

Often, the questions we ask are full of judgment and criticism: Why do I always have to end up with a wrong guy? Why do I always end up in debt? Why can’t I find a soul mate? And the one that tops it all: Why am I so cursed?

And if what Deepak says is true, and the whole universe conspire to show you want is wrong with you, why you are cursed or what can go wrong. No wonder that these question leave you feeling so deeply disempowered – you want things to improve and all you are getting is more of the same or worse.

We often ask the negative questions without even being aware of it. But it doesn’t mean that – with a little bit of effort – we cannot become fully aware and change the programing quite rapidly. If positive change is what you want, maybe it is time to start asking different questions.

You can do this by consciously and deliberately asking some simple questions; how do I want to feel? How does it feel to be at peace? How does it feel to be good to myself? And rather than answering them, just let them hung there, in a question form. And move to the next one. What do I like? What would be the nicest thing I could do today?

If you feel really bold, you can then ask: What is the best thing that can happen today? What could be fun? What can be the most magical thing? Again, don’t try to think of the answers, and if you feel that the answers coming to you are somewhat negative (like, yeah, right, nothing magical comes to me ever!), just move to questions that don’t awaken these negative reactions.

You could ask questions that are about more general things, like your home, family, your life and your friends. Ask about things that are easy to feel good about: What do I like about my home? What do I like about my life? What do I like about my best friend? My children? How does it feel to be at peace? How doe it feel to have a good day? How would it feel to know I will have a good day?

And if you don’t feel good about things, or you had been feeling really down lately, ask questions that are least specific; How doe it feel to be at peace? What would my day feel like if I was okay today? How would it feel to simply be okay and at ease? How would it feel not to try to change things but just relax? How does it feel to relax? How does it feel to be at ease?

I encourage you to do this one thing today, start asking positive questions. Don’t try to find the answers, just throw some good vibe questions out there in the air and watch what happens. And watch where your brain (or the universe) can take you as soon as today. It may knock your socks off in the most amazing ways.

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Motivated to do… what?

Motivated to do… what?

When we talk about motivation, the usual view is that we are either motivated or not motivated.

It feels like that, especially when procrastination kicks in big time. And we simply feel too lazy, too distracted or too unwilling to do whatever it is we ‘should be doing’.

But i would like you to consider a different view. A view that we are always motivated. The question is: motivated to do what? (more…)

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Do You Want To know Your Own Power?

Do You Want To know Your Own Power?

There are two types of clients that comes to see me. Those who are prepared to take control over their lives and want me to guide them to this state of ‘mastery’ and those who want a ‘magic pill’ that would take the problem away and want me to do all the magic. Well, I am a bit unfair, we all want some magic (myself included) and support and help. But nothing slows the process of overcoming eating problems or anxiety as much as this attitude of ‘give me the goods and don’t ask for me to do a thing’. (more…)

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You can’t control your reactions? Here is why. Part 1

You can’t control your reactions? Here is why. Part 1

Have you ever tried to understand – or to change – your emotional responses to situations or to behaviours of others, only to feel more confused than ever. Have you tried to feel better about your body, your weight, your friends, your family, your work and yet couldn’t change any of that? Have you tried to be more positive only to end up feeling even more frustrated with yourself? (more…)

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The most important choice you’d ever have to make

The most important choice you’d ever have to make

The past doesn’t exist. It’s gone. Done. Expired.

The future doesn’t exist.

You don’t exist in the past. Or the future.

You only exist in this moment. And this moment. And now this moment. And now this moment. And now this moment…

You only exist in a single moment. That’s it. Here and now. Moving from a moment to a moment, from a now to a now. And now. And now. Another now… (more…)

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How to get motivated

How to get motivated

Have you ever sabotaged yourself? Knowing exactly what you should do and yet doing something else? Wanting to lose weight and yet avoiding the gym? Wanting to look healthy and yet eating junk?

Have you ever felt unmotivated to do what you really needed to do? Exercise? Finish the assignment? Ring your auntie?

Do you believe that if you only had more motivation your life would be so much better?

Well, you are not alone. (more…)

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Why do I do it, again and again ?

Why do I do it, again and again ?

I want to share a few points that is central to my work as a therapist. I would like to start with a very important (in my view) premise that every single behaviour, no matter how weird or illogical, is in fact logical and purposeful. It may not appear logical, and it may go against what you rationally want. But it doesn’t change the fact that, considering what goes on inside your mind, this behaviour serves a purpose. There is a reason for it to take place. (more…)

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My first post

My first post

Let me start this blog with a little bit of  an explanation. Who am I and why am I writing this. After all, does the world really need yet another blog?

In the past, I attempted blogging a few times. None of them very successful. The words were not flowing the way I wished them to flow and there was only one thing to blame. My own lack of mental clarity. I wanted to blog but I was not completely ready to share what I was doing as a therapist. (more…)

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About Dorota (if you care)

It seems so easy to write about what I do, but when I have to write about myself, I freeze. So this page has been a great challenge, and I am not quite sure why. In a world of social media, writing about myself should not be a problem, right? I know it is the right thing to do, after all you may want to know who I am before you come and trust me with your life, and yet… I am not quite sure where to start. (more…)

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